The Novel
by skywalkor
Summary: Kakashi gives Yamato a gift that awakens feelings he thought he had forgotten. KakaYama, I'll might change the rating later.
1. The Book

_I don't own Naruto (I wish I did tho)!_

* * *

"Here. It's for you."

Yamato looked up on the tall man that was standing in front of him. He was a bit surprised that he actually was talking to him. It had been a while since they last exchanged words in private and not just because of a mission.

"What is it?" He said, taking the present that his senpai was holding out against him. It was wrapped in a thin brown paper that probably came from the local book store. "Hey, is it one of those perverted novels that you're always reading?"

It was meant as a joke but the bright haired man didn't smile, he looked more serious than ever. "No. But it's true that Jiraiya has written it. I want you to read it."

"I don't know, I have a lot of paperwork waiting for me at home..."

"Take your time, but please read it. It's from me, okay?"

And like that he was gone.  
Yamato wrinkled his forehead and looked down on the present again. He was curious what it could be that was so important to Kakashi-senpai. First, he thought that it was _The tale of a gutsy ninja,_ but he had already read that one and this book was a little smaller and thicker.

He put it in his bag. It had to wait until he was finished with all those papers.

* * *

"Finally!" Yamato yawned as he threw himself at the comfortable bed that had been waiting for him for hours. Every single paper was done.

He buried his face in the pillow and closed his eyes, hoping that he would get some sleep this night. His head was spinning because of his tiredness and his body had no energy left at all.

Slowly, he fell asleep. It was just a short nap, a few minutes before he woke up again, covered in sweat. The same nightmare as earlier was sneaking up on his mind.

The man tried again and again. Always the same thing.

It was the middle of the night. He rolled over to his left side, trying to get a more comfortable position, but something poked against his leg. Surprised, Yamato sat up and took out the thing that he had been laying on for a few hours.

It was the present from earlier. A dizzy memory of himself throwing it on the bed when he got home appeared on his mind.

The man unwrapped the item that - as he expected - turned out to be a gray-green book with a golden pattern and title that said _Forever_, and lower down, _a novel by Jiraiya_.  
Yamato twisted and turned the book and discovered a small symbol on the back side. It was a symbol of an ANBU mask, or rather, _his_ ANBU mask. The cat mask.

"You've got to be kidding me" he murmured as he opened the first page and started to read.

* * *

_Short first chapter, I know... I'll continue it soon! _


	2. You and Me

"Please knock next time" Kakashi said. He was sitting in the living room, on a couch and his face was still hidden behind the Icha Icha Paradise book. He didn't even look up when Yamato entered.  
But the wood ninja couldn't care less.

"I've read the book now. _Forever_."

It became all silent. Their breaths were short and quiet, barely noticeable, and even the wind outside had stopped it's motion. It felt like the whole planet had frozen.

Kakashi put down the book and opened his mouth. He closed it again. None of them knew what to say.  
Finally, the older one spoke. He sounded calm but his eyes said something else.  
"And?"

"Why did you give it to me?"

"I don't know, I just... Wanted you to read it."

"Before everyone else realized, or what? It's my mask on the back, and I recognize every single sentence."

"Tenzou..."

Yamato interrupted him harshly. "What?" he said, "What is it? It's the truth, right _Kakashi_?"  
It was the first time that he hadn't called the man senpai, and he saw that he reacted to it too. It was a bad sign of course.

"Can you please hear me out?"

"Since when did you start to say please all the time?"

"Since now. And I will continue until you give me a chance to tell you about everything."

"You don't need to tell me anything."

Kakashi stood up from the couch that he had been sitting on and made a quick move. In less than a second they were standing face to face, one meters distance.

"I need to tell you this" he started and looked the brown haired man in his eyes.  
"Me and Jiraiya were out eating. We've been talking to each other about almost everything for years, but there was one thing that I never told him about. He knew that I had an affair with someone, but nothing more. That day I told him everything. I figured that it was about time to get it off my chest, it's been haunting me for so long, and I knew that he would listen. So, he was so touched by the story afterwards that he asked me if he could write a book about it and I said yes, as long as he didn't reveal any names."

Yamato was all quiet. He had a thousands of questions that he wanted to ask, but no one seemed right for the moment.  
"It was one night, senpai. Nothing more than..."

"I know! I know, but it felt like it was more."

"We were young, we were fools! You were the first man that I ever slept with! The whole evening and the whole night was perfect, I really thought that it meant something, but the next day you were gone... They said that you had left the ANBU for good. What was I? Nothing? You left me heartbroken you bastard."

"I didn't have the courage to talk with you before I left. You weren't the reason that I didn't come back, I promise-"

"Then why did you leave me like that? We both promised that it was nothing more, the next day you were gone, I forgave and forgot and now we're here again as comrades, captains for the same team, nothing more."

It became silent again and it felt uncomfortable. Yamato felt bad as he looked down on the floor, regretting that he had left his house in the middle of the night to bring this up.

"I was your captain, what was I supposed to do? They gave me a mission. I couldn't come back after that, they needed me in the village and I had already started to think about getting my own team. It took years to find one that was good enough, but that didn't matter. I didn't leave the ANBU because of you or because of that night, that incident was probably the only reason why I considered to stay. But if someone would have heard about you and me..."

"Why did you publish it now?! It's a book, senpai! Everyone will read it!"

"It doesn't matter now, we're not in the ANBU anymore. And no one's smart enough to find out that it's you and me. Plus, the story is about a man and a woman. "

It was way too much. All the feelings that he had tried to train away were slowly coming back, nagging on his brain, telling him to attack the man and hit him. Punish him for all the times he had almost trained himself to death, trying not to think about the growing lump in his stomach or the sting of pain that went through his heart every time someone talked about their former captain.

He raised his hand and took a few steps forward. He wanted to punch him. Hard, break his jaw and crush his cheekbone. Senpai wouldn't even move, he would take the hit and they both knew it. For everything he had done...

But he couldn't. Yamato tried to lift his arm bud a wave of regret and guilt flushed over him and he had to lower it again. His brain refused to let the body take action. The only thing in the world that he wanted was comfort.

Kakashi welcomed him with open arms when he fell forwards, seeking heat and safety. Tears were streaming down his cheeks when he buried his face in the black fabric of the special made jounin shirt. Warm arms hugged him almost desperate and their bodies were close like magnets.

The copy nin' was shaking too. He was truly touched by conversation even though he tried to stay cool and calm as usual. The only thing he could concentrate on was the happiness that filled his gut when he finally could smell that short brown hair again, wrap his arms around the tense body and relax. Something like that didn't happen every day. He wished it did.

"I-I... Hated y-you..." Yamato stuttered as he tried to wipe his tears away but they kept wetting down his cheeks.

"I hated me too... But I-" Kakashi cleared his throat when his voice got to hoarse to make any sound at all.

They just stood there in the living room, trying to comfort each other.  
Yamato didn't know if he wanted to laugh or cry about the novel Jiraiya had written. It was good, one if his best, and it would probably sell. His and Kakashi's lovestory would be known by a lot of people, inhabitants in other countries than the Land of Fire... But a quiet voice whispered in his head; _did it matter?_ No one knew that it was them. And if anyone would figure it out... No, it wouldn't matter anyway.  
The story was good. The old man had done a perfect job reflecting his thoughts, his love and his feelings without even talking to him. Every detail were almost taken from his own mind. They would at least know the truth.

A pair of warm lips pressed against his hair. He could feel them move as the silver haired ninja murmured;  
"Tenzou..."

"Yes?"

"Stay here tonight..."

He couldn't do anything but nod silently as his dark brown eyes watered again and he pressed their bodies tighter together.

* * *

_Sorry for the delay... And I won't be able to update more this weak either, since I'm going to spain with my class... :c _  
_Anyways, I hope you liked this chapter! Opinions? Thank you for reading! _


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